Antony’s German Sausage Museum Listeners of French Cinema will already know Antony as one half of the programme’s presenting team. What they may not know is that, away from the microphone, he is also the owner, curator and only known employee of Antony’s German Sausage Museum. The museum stands in the picturesque German town of Glünschweift, somewhere between Düsseldorf and a motorway service station. It is not currently open to the public. There is some doubt over whether the building exists. There is considerably more doubt over whether it contains any sausages. Nevertheless, Antony insists that it is one of Europe’s leading centres for the preservation and interpretation of German sausage culture. The collection supposedly covers the entire history of the German sausage, from early medieval wursts to the experimental electronic bratwurst movement of the late 1970s. Highlights include a sausage believed to have belonged to Kraftwerk, an uncooked frankfurter described as “possibly Bauhaus” and several empty display cases representing sausages that have been lost to history. Visitors—should any ever be admitted—will be guided personally by Antony. The standard tour lasts approximately 45 minutes, although very little of it concerns sausages. Previous tours have included lengthy discussions about obscure records, German municipal transport and a pub Antony once visited near Düsseldorf. The museum gift shop sells no gifts. The café has no seating and serves neither food nor drink. There is, however, a small laminated sign reading CAFÉ, which Antony considers sufficient. Plans for expansion include a Currywurst Research Annex, an interactive sausage-identification experience and a climate-controlled archive for particularly sensitive cold meats. Funding has yet to be secured, planning permission has not been requested and the Glünschweift town council denies receiving any correspondence from Antony whatsoever. Despite these minor administrative difficulties, Antony remains committed to his work. “The sausage is more than food,” he probably said. “It is history in a tube.” Antony’s German Sausage Museum remains closed until further notice—or until it is created, whichever happens first. For more cultural insight of this quality, listen to Winty and Antony on French Cinema, Monday nights from 9pm on Incapable Staircase.